god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
