On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
