I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
