It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
