All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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