Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
