dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Someone signed my nipple.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
