I want to stick my p in your. b.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
