I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
