You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
