guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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