the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
