Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
