i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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