dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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