This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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