Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
