we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
