they need to just BURY HIM!
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
