I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
