the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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