real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
