the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
