do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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