We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
