Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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