Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's shark week go big or go home
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
