I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
