Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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