What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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