She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
