I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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