Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
