ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
