Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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