I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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