You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
