Plan B is the new Plan A
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
