I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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