i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
