Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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