What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
