told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
