Define "chronic" masturbator.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
