Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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