I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
