Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
you will always have a special place in my vag
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
