bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
