Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
