doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
